synchronous

saturday 1am.
work

over this past weekend I spent the day with Amy and the darling Tatiana. After the baby went to bed Amy and I were talking, when I noticed her will laying on the table. We discussed it a bit, and I realized that although my wishes are pretty much known by my family, I really need to put everything in writing so there's no confusion about accounts and plans later. That was pretty much my train of thought for the ride home. Do I have enough life insurance? Does my family know where I want to be buried? And most importantly, how will I be eulogized? You can't dictate memories in a legal document, you create them with the life you live. So, am I living the life and creating the memories that I want repeated by friends and family at the end of my time here?

about 30 minutes into the drive, I stopped for gas. I was only out of my car for a few minutes, but in that time I missed a couple of phone calls from friends. earlier that afternoon, one of my coworkers had died suddenly. On this perfect summer's Sunday, Ted went to play hockey and had a heart attack, and died shortly after. It really took until the funeral today for reality to set in. The pomp and circumstance of a police funeral is awesome in itself, but the words of Ted's family during his eulogy was what really hit home with everyone. Ted loved life. He loved his family. He loved hockey. He lived a life that created positive memories for others. He'll be missed, certainly, but his spirit will remain with everyone who knew him.

The following poem was also shared today. Regardless of your views of an "afterlife", I think everyone can find commonality and perhaps solace in the words.

***
I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still - in each new dawn.

***